


Gemelli

by devo79



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-15
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 16:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 15,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devo79/pseuds/devo79
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being split by Toth, Alex and Xan decided they liked things as they were and left Sunnydale</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They sat at the back of the bar. The yellow light from the dusty lamps hanging in the ceiling not reaching their table. The crowded room was warm and filled with noise.

“So, why’re we here?” Spike asked and looked over at Angel.

“Willow asked us to make sure he’s all right,” Angel grumbled, picked up his beer and scowled at it.

Their attention was drawn to the bar. Xander was standing right there, mixing drinks and taking orders. He seemed more confident and he smiled at everyone. Xander’s dark-brown hair kept falling into his eyes and he would reach up and let his hand run through it. It looked soft and almost shiny in spite of the grimy light of the bar. The blue shirt he was wearing showed off his broad shoulders and chest. He told jokes and flirted with every single guest. It didn’t matter if they were human or not, men or women.

“Seems ta be okay,” Spike noticed how Xander’s hands flew through the air as he mixed drink after drink.

“Hey! A‘snata?” Xander called over to a huge guy standing near the entrance. The man looked mostly human. “I gotta go for a sec. You okay to…” he nodded with his head at the bar.

“Yeah. You go Alex,” A’snata moved over to the bar. Xander stepped around him and disappeared through a door next to the bar.

“Alex?” Angel tilted his head and looked at Spike “I’ve never heard anybody call him that before.”

“New town, new people.” Spike guessed and downed his beer.

A group of demons were getting loud and one of them, a large male with tusks sticking out of its mouth, accidentally pushed his large bowl of liquor on the floor. The glass bowl cracked and the last of the drink trickled out on to the floor.

A’snata growled and called out in the direction of the door Xander had disappeared through “Xander! You gotta come out here and clean this mess up!”

Xander tumbled out of the door, a bucket and a small broom in his hands, he looked up at A’snata.

“Over there, pal.” A’snata said and pointed over at the demons. “Make sure you don’t cut yourself.”

“Yeah sure,” Xander nodded enthusiastically and moved over to the rowdy crowd. He must have changed his shirt because this one was orange with small palm trees printed all over it. And the hair was a mess as well. Unruly locks that curled at the ends.

He started off by drying up the alcohol that had been sloshed all over the table. One of the demons reached out and touched Xander’s hip. The boy stepped away and started picking up the small pieces of glass from the floor.

The largest of the demons said something in a deep growling language and the others laughed and looked down at Xander.

“Better keep an eye on things,” Angel said and pushed his chair a little away from the table.

“Yeah,” Spike agreed and eyed the largest of the demons. It was looming over the much smaller human. It licked its lips, reached out a huge dirty hand and fondled Xander‘s ass. The boy yelped and moved away a little. The demons were laughing and making rude comments about just what they would like to do to the flustered kid’s body.

Xander tried to get A’snata’s attention but the huge demon was surrounded by people ordering drinks. Xander bit his lower lip and frantically started picking up the last pieces of glass. He winched as one of the sharp edged pieces of the ruined bowl cut his hand.

The demons at the table roared with laughter and Xander grabbed the bucket and ran for the door to the backroom.

“I’ll just go tell ‘em ta keep their hands off him, yeah.” Spike snarled and was almost out of his chair when the door to the backroom was slammed open and Xander was standing in the doorway. He had changed back into his blue shirt.

He walked directly over to the demons at the table. Picked up the broom he had left behind and hit the largest of the demons in the head with it.

“Keep your fucking hands to yourself!” Xander’s eyes were dark with anger.

The demons at the table eyed the crazy human with uncertainty as their leader slowly regained his composure and towered over the much smaller human.

“You don’t ever…” the rest of Xander's words were swallowed up by the noises of the crowded bar “You got that!” Xander said and pushed the broom against the demon’s chest. A’snata had finally caught on to the fact that something was going on and he was now standing behind Xander, dwarfing the human by at least ten inches.

“You should go find somewhere else to be,” A’snata said warningly and flexed his muscles.

The demons growled but finally left the bar.

“What the hell is going on?” Angel asked Spike as they watched Xander disappear through the door to the backroom again.


	2. Chapter 2

“Is he okay?” Martha asked and peeked over Alex’s shoulder. The woman leant over the two young men, her small hand resting on Alex’s broad shoulder.

“Yeah, it’s just a small cut. Looks worse than it is,” Alex said and gently washed the blood away from Xander’s hand.

“It kinda still hurts,” Xander mumbled “I’m really sorry, Alex. I should just have told them not to touch me, just like you said.” Xander bit his lip and winced when Alex dried the palm of his wounded hand.

“There, all clean.” Alex smiled and reached out for the bandages on the table. The other employees were all getting ready to close the bar for the night.

“Are you gonna get in trouble now?” Xander asked uncertainly “Cause trouble is like way more than we need right now and I don’t wanna be the one to make it. No to the making of trouble.”

“Hey,” Alex said and finished with the bandage “A’snata’s going to back us up on this. We didn’t do anything wrong, okay?”

“Yeah…um…I’m kinda hungry,” Xander looked hopeful.

\--------------------------------------------------------

“Close your mouth when you chew your food, man.” Alex said and took a bite of his own burger. Xander just nodded and kept chewing with his mouth half open.

“Look,” a young blond woman whispered from the table to their left “Twins,” her friends giggled.

“Good looking too,” a brunette whispered back “Wonder if they’re identical all over?” The women laughed and blushed.

“Go talk to them,” a chubby red-head said.

“No way,” the brunette shook her head.

“Look at me!” Xander said and waved a hand in front of Alex’s face. Xander grabbed two French fries and stuffed them in his mouth. They looked like fangs. “I vant ta suck ya blaaadddd!”

“Dude, seriously.” Alex laughed and stood up “We should be getting home. We both need to sleep.” Xander jumped up from his chair and almost stumbled but Alex’s hand grabbed him by the shoulder and steadied him with practiced ease.

They were almost at the door when Alex heard the blond conspiratorially whisper to her girlfriends “Too bad the other one is a complete retard.” Alex looked over at Xander. He was busy looking at the Happy Meal gifts on display by the door. Xander hadn’t heard anything. Thank God.

“Hey, buddy.” Alex said and gave Xander a one-armed hug “Could you go sit in the truck for a second. I’ll be right out.” Xander looked uncertain but finally nodded. He opened the door and started walking over to their truck. Alex watched Xander fumble with the door handle, open the door and get in.

The women didn’t notice him before he was standing right by their table. The blond toyed with her hair and smiled up at him.

“Hey…“ she said in a flirty tone “My name is…”

“I don’t really give a flying fuck what your name is,” Alex said “You don’t get to make rude comments about my brother, understood?” he didn’t wait for her to answer but simply walked over to the door. He opened it and turned around “And for the record…” his eyes locked with the brunette’s “We are identical. All. Over.” He slammed the door behind him.

\---------------------------------------------------

Xander was sulking. Alex sighed. Xander must have heard what the bitch had said after all.

“You think I’m…you know…” Xander said and looked out at the buildings floating by as they drove home.

“Xander…” Alex said and grabbed the steering wheel with white knuckled hands.

“It’s not like…you know…I’m not all cool and stuff, like you.”

“I don’t want you to be like me, Xander. You shouldn’t listen to jerks that put you down like that, okay?” Alex stopped the car in the parking lot in front of their apartment block. Xander just nodded.

“Xander?” Alex turned in his seat “Do you want us to go back to Sunnydale? We could ask Willow to…” Xander’s hand grabbed on to Alex’s arm hard enough for it to leave bruises.

“No,” Xander croaked “I don’t wanna die,” he begged.

“Yeah…okay. I get that,” Alex smiled “I don’t want to disappear either but if you’re not happy…”

“I am…I get to do silly stuff, watch Star trek 'til I pass out and read comic books and and and,” he was getting so excited that he was having trouble breathing.

“I’m thinking, maybe you shouldn’t have had those two McFlurrys with extra chocolate sprinkles,” Alex laughed and shook his head. “Come on, man. Off to bed with ya.”


	3. Chapter 3

“And I was like whoa,” Xander waved his hands in the air and scrunched his face up. “It’s like…come on…Spiderman is way cooler than Superman. Man of Steel my butt!” Xander grinned at Alex. 

“I always liked Batman better,” Alex said and nodded at the comic books littering the kitchen table. 

“You would!” Xander snorted. 

“Are you mocking me?” Alex asked and glared at Xander. 

“So what if I am? What’re you gonna do about it?” Xander said and slowly pushed his chair away from the kitchen table. Alex smiled and put both hands palm down on the table. 

“Oh…I don’t know,” he said and smirked evilly “Maybe you need to be taught a lesson.” 

“Like you’re man enough to do that,” Xander stood up, slowly, pushed the comic book away from him and turned slightly toward the living room…And took off. 

“Oh, no you don’t!” Alex yelled and ran after Xander. Xander looked over his shoulder and accidentally bumped into the couch. He fell forward, arms flailing in the air, and pounced off the couch and onto the floor. 

“You okay?” Alex asked and knelt next to Xander. He put his hand on Xander’s chest. 

“Yeah,” Xander huffed and smiled. 

“Good,” Alex nodded “Then I can still punish you!” he laughed and started tickling Xander. 

\------------------------------------------------------- 

“Hey!” Julian waved and smiled at them. 

“Do we have to talk to him?” Xander asked Alex as they entered the bar. The red-head started moving through the room, stopping here and there to shake hands with guests. 

“He’s our boss, Xander.” Alex nodded to one of the girls cleaning off a dirty table. She blushed and looked away, her golden eyes flashing for a split second. 

“Yeah. But he’s all touchy feely,” Xander squirmed and held on to Alex’s arm. Alex stopped moving and looked at Xander. 

“He hasn’t been touching you, has he?” Alex was seconds away from going on a rampage. 

“No, no,” Xander shook his head “Jeeesus,” he drew out the word “I’m not five years old. I can like totally defend myself and stuff,” Alex didn’t look convinced “He never touched me, Alex. Honestly. It’s just…he hugs everybody and holds their hands…” 

“He’s just being friendly, Xander.” Alex smiled and rubbed Xander’s back.

“Yeah…just don’t like other people touching me,” Xander mumbled “Just you.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Xander opened the door to the alley behind the bar. He shifted the two big garbage bags in his hands so he could push the door against the wall. He huffed as he manoeuvred the big plastic bags through the doorway and down the four steps. The door slowly shut behind him with a small squeak. 

The naked light bulb over the door flashed on and off a few times and then stayed on. Xander scowled at it and mumbled under his breath. 

“Like the alley isn’t giving me the wiggins without the light going epileptic on me,” He dumped the bags on the dirty concrete floor and reached up and opened the lid of the dumpster. 

“Now who do we have here?” someone growled behind him. Xander let the lid slam shut and quickly turned around to look at the two demons standing at the end of the alley. He looked over at the door and then back at the demons. 

“W-what do you want?” Xander asked and slowly edged his way toward the stairs leading to the door and safety and Alex. Alex would fix this. 

“We just want what we didn’t get last night,” the demon said and moved into the light closer to the door. In the flickering yellow glow, Xander recognised the demon. 

“A-alex told you to s-stay away from me,” Xander said frantically. 

“He isn’t here,” the other demon smirked. “I bet the music is so loud in there…he won’t even hear you scream.” 

“Um…could we not do the screaming part?” Xander took another step closer to the door. The two demons looked at each other. 

“No,” the largest one said “I think the screaming will pretty much be the main event,” he smiled and flashed his big fangs. 

“I think you’re right,” a deep voice from behind the demons said. Before Xander knew what was happening the demons were huge piles of goo on the alley floor. Green smears of what could only be demon blood was splattered all over the wall by the door. 

“You all right?” the deep voice asked and moved closer. 

Xander’s eyes darted between the dead demons, the door and the two men standing in front of him. When the blond reached out and dried a glob of green demon blood off Xander’s face he eeped and ran for the door making sure to lock it behind him as he ran in search for Alex.


	4. Chapter 4

Alex was handing a small Arashn’k’y demon its drink when Xander burst through the door. The demon nodded at Alex when the human smiled and put eight straws in the drink.

“Hey, man. You okay?” Alex asked Xander as the Arashn’k’y slowly climbed down the barstool and made its way over to the corner of the bar. A group of other Arashn’k’y demons were seated at the small kiddie table. The demons whined and chirped as the one bringing the drink sat it down in the middle of the table.

Xander just panted and pointed at the door to the backroom. Alex tabbed the other bartender on his scaly shoulder and nodded in Xander’s direction.

“I’ll cover for you,” Timmy said.

“Thanks man,” Alex yelled as he dragged Xander with him into the backroom.

\---------------------------------------------------

“T-t-they’re here! Right out there and they were like and then the demons got all scary with the threats and the talking about doing nasty stuff and then they were like there and they were all with the hiiiiyaa,” Xander chopped the air with the edge of his palm “And the fangs and the slayage and I was so scared and they ruined my favourite shirt. Look! Demon goo. Is it in my hair too, cause I really hate when it gets in my hair?”

“Xander?”

“And they should have listened to you. You told them to keep their hands to themselves and I was like so telling them that but they were like not even listening and I…”

“Xander!” Alex grabbed Xander by the shoulders and shook him.

“What?” Xander calmed down.

“Who scared you?” Alex asked slowly.

“First it was the demons and then it was…” Xander began.

“The demons…from last night?” Alex looked pretty pissed off so Xander just nodded.

“Are they still out there?” Alex pointed at the door to the alley.

“No. Cause Angel and Spike totally killed them,” Xander was almost swaying with all the excitement.

“Angel and…oh fuck!” Alex pulled Xander closer and hugged him “They didn’t find out, did they?”

“I didn’t say anything. I just ran,” Xander mumbled into Alex’s neck.

“Take your shirt off,” Alex demanded.

“We’re at work!” Xander’s voice was high-pitched.

“Just take it off,” Alex said and pushed Xander a little away and started taking his own charcoal grey t-shirt off. Xander blushed and looked around to make sure no one was watching.

“We’re at work,” he hissed again when Alex started pulling Xander’s Spiderman t-shirt off.

“There you go. You wear mine and I’ll wear yours,” Alex said and put on the demon goo splattered t-shirt.

“What if they call Buffy…If they call Buffy and Willow and they want us to go back to Sunnydale and they’ll know and they’ll wanna fix us,” Xander babbled “I don’t wanna get fixed, Alex. I don’t wanna!”

Alex just pulled him close and whispered in Xander’s ear. “They won’t find out. We’ll be real careful for awhile. I’m going out there right now and make sure they don’t come back…. I’ll tell them we’re…I’m…all right, okay?” Alex looked at Xander.

“Yeah, okay.”

\------------------------------------------------

“Man was that close!” Alex babbled the second he opened the door to the alley “and you guys were way cool with the slayage and the…um…slayage,” he tried to look as innocent as possible.

“Are you okay, Xander?” Angel asked and dropped the demon carcase he had been shoving in the direction of the dumpster.

“Oh, yeah!” Alex nodded “I’m like totally all right,” he fiddled with the hem of Xander’s Spiderman t-shirt.

“Didn’t seem all right when ya took off screaming like that,” Spike pointed out and dried his hands in one of the demons’ jacket.

“Oh? I mean….Oh! I was just way surprised,” Alex waved his hand in front of him “What with the demons and the slaying.”

“Yeah,” Spike said.

“Must have been frightening when the leader started licking your neck,” Angel pointed out and scrutinised Xander’s face.

“Yeah…demon drool is like…um yucky,” Alex started looking back at the door. Why the hell hadn’t Xander told him the demons had gotten close enough to drool all over him?!

“Willow asked us to make sure you’re okay,” Spike said and started noticing the way Xander moved. Five minutes ago he had been stumbling around and every movement had been a little uncoordinated. Now he seemed to stand straighter, his hands weren’t waving about all the time and his voice didn’t take a rollercoaster ride, going up and down, whenever he talked.

“I’ll like totally call her…the second I get home,” Xander said “Bye!”

\---------------------------------------------------

Spike and Angel watched as the human ran up the stairs and disappeared through the door to the bar.

“He’s lying,” Angel said “Those demons didn’t come close enough to lick anything.”

“Suppose we’ll be hanging around then?” Spike nodded “Boy smelled different too.”

“Yeah,” Angel agreed.

\--------------------------------------------------

Alex leant against the door to the alley and closed his eyes.

“Did they believe you?” Xander asked quietly.

“Start coughing,” Alex said and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What?” Xander blinked.

“Just…I’m taking you home cause you don’t feel good,” Alex explained “So start coughing.”

“Oh…Ooohhhh,” Xander nodded and started coughing.

“Could you be more convincing?” Alex asked and listened to Xander’s small polite coughs. Xander nodded and started a whole symphony of coughs “Xander. You’re not dying of the bubonic plague, man. Less with the dramatic.”

“Sure,” Xander grinned and coughed a little less.


	5. Chapter 5

“Shhh,” Angel hissed and Spike looked up at him and frowned.

“Whot? Wasn’t making noise,” he said and started picking the lock again. He skilfully twisted the lock pick just so and the door sighed as it slowly opened. Spike held out his hands in a See-I-told-you-so gesture and smirked.

“Just get in,” Angel mumbled and pushed Spike through the door.

\----------------------------------------------

“Well, bugger me,“ Spike whispered and couldn’t take his eyes of the sight in front of him.

Xander was draped over a man’s back. He snuffled into the man’s neck and hummed in his sleep. The man underneath Xander mumbled and reached a hand back so he could pat Xander on the thigh. Xander sighed and slowly let himself slide onto his side and the man turned in his sleep.

“What the fuck!” Angel said loudly and Xander opened his eyes and started screaming. He scooted backwards, over Alex and ended up falling over the edge of the bed.

“What?!” Alex said and stumbled out of bed, his grey boxer shorts hanging low on his hips. He looked from Angel to Spike and then scrambled back over the bed to look for Xander.

“Xander?” Alex asked when he couldn’t see him.

“Tell them to go away,” Xander begged from his hiding spot under the bed.

“Fuck!” Alex yelled and pushed himself back up and climbed off the bed. “How the hell did you get in?” Alex asked.

“Should check who you rent from,” Spike smirked and bent down so he could look under the bed. Xander was curled up, littered in dust bunnies and his hands covering his eyes.

“Hey,” Alex said and pushed Spike away “Leave him alone,” he turned back to Angel “What are you jerks talking about?”

“You rent this place?” Angel asked.

“So what?” Alex crossed his arms.

“Well, you must have signed some papers, right?” Angel persisted.

“No man,” Alex growled “The apartment belongs to the bar. We just…” Alex slapped his palm against his face “Please tell me we haven’t been vampire snacks waiting to happen for the past year?” he pleaded.

“Okay,” Spike said and laughed.

“Oh, shit! Stop laughing, stupid undead dork!” Xander screeched.

Alex sat down on the bed and closed his eyes. “You can come out now, Xander.” he said quietly and looked up at Angel “If you do anything to upset him…” Alex warned and Angel put his hands up and shook his head.

“Well, boy?” Spike asked and looked under the bed again “Coming out then, are ya?”

“Alex, make them go away,” Xander said.

“They already know something’s up, Xander.” Alex said and walked past Spike so he could kneel next to the bed.

“We could tell them that I’m like um…some shape shifting alien thing,” Xander suggested.

“Yeah, we could,” Alex nodded and gently took Xander’s hand “if you hadn’t just told them about that brilliant plan.”

“Oh…Sorry,” Xander mumbled as he crawled out from under the bed.

“Hey,” Alex said and started dusting the dust bunnies off Xander’s Transformers pyjama “It was a great plan.”


	6. Chapter 6

Cordy walked up the stairs to her room. She stopped outside the door and frowned. She could hear someone talking in there. Who the hell was in her room? 

“Just get your clothes off,” someone said. 

“Yeah yeah Mister Bossy,” the same voice answered. 

The sound of zippers being opened made Cordy step closer to the door. She leant in and pressed her ear against it. 

“Hey, look at that shower! It’s huge!” an excited voice pointed out. 

“Well it's bigger than our tiny shower stall, that’s for sure.” the voice agreed with itself. 

Then the sound of water running and someone squeaking “Cold!” 

“Here let me fix that,” the same voice said and she could hear the screeching of the water running through the old pipes. “Better?” 

“Mucho,” was the answer. 

“Good. Now move over,” the shower curtain slid back on its plastic rings “Where’s the soap?” 

“Here…oops dropped it! ” the small thud of the soap hitting the tiled floor.

“What is this? Some kinda kinky prison porn?” the voice snorted. 

Cordy slowly opened the door and tiptoed into her room. She spotted the clothes dumped on her bed and frowned. A nice black button-down shirt, a Batman t-shirt and two pairs of identical jeans. Happy laughter came from the bathroom and she moved over to the door. 

“Shut up and pick up the soap. I can’t reach it,” the voice whined. 

Cordy opened the door and stepped into the bathroom. The mirror was already covered in steam and she turned her attention to the shower stall. The partly see-through shower curtain moved slightly.

“I’m telling you, I’ll call the guard if you try anything Bubba!” the voice promised.

“What the hell is going on here?” Cordy said and grabbed the shower curtain and pushed it back. 

“Arrrgghhhhh!” Xander screamed and tried to cover himself with the small washcloth. 

“What the fuck!” Cordy and Alex both yelled at the same time. 

“Arrrgghhh! Cordy!” Xander shouted and grabbed the shower curtain so hard it came off its rings and fluttered to the floor, leaving both Xander and Alex without any cover. 

“Xander?” Cordy asked and looked at the two men. Then she turned around and screamed “ANGEL!” 

\-------------------------------------------------- 

Spike looked up when Cordy came running down the stairs. He was hauling the last of Xander and Alex’s stuff into the lobby. 

“Where’s Angel?” the ex-cheerleader demanded to know. 

“He’ll be right in. What’s the…” Spike was about to finish his question when a very wet Alex came down the stairs only wearing a small towel wrapped around his hips. 

“Just calm down, Cordy.” Alex said “You scared the crap out of Xander.” 

“You are Xander!” Cordy pointed out “And I don’t know what the hell is…“ Cordy stopped. Xander was standing at the top of the stairs wrapped in the shower curtain. He was blushing so hard even his chest was red. 

“Alex?” Xander pulled the shower curtain further up his chest. 

“Well,” was all Spike could say. 

\----------------------------------------------------------- 

“So you’re both Xander?” Cordy asked the now fully clothed men. Xander’s hair was still dripping slightly and the water made his batman t-shirt cling to his broad shoulders. 

“Yes,” they both nodded. 

Gunn kept looking from one man to the other. Alex was standing next to Xander, who was sitting by the kitchen table. Xander’s fingers were playing with the glass of water in front of him. 

“What we need to know,” Angel said and leant against the kitchen counter “is how you ended up like that?” 

“Remember Toth?” Alex said and look at Spike. Xander shivered. 

“Yeah, demon bloke with a big stick, right?” Spike asked. 

“Huge freaking stick,” Xander mumbled and toyed with the hem of his t-shirt. 

“But we vanquished his arse,” Spike reached out and patted Xander on the shoulder. Xander looked up at him and smiled shakily. 

“Yeah,” Alex agreed and sat down at the kitchen table next to Xander “But remember how I took a hit first?” Alex slapped himself on the chest and Xander rubbed his own chest. 

“Took a dive in the garbage if I recall right” Spike grinned. 

“Yeah. Well,” Alex said “the next day Xander here turned up on my front step telling me he was gonna kill my demony ass.” Xander shook his head and smiled. 

“I was like totally freaking out. I thought he was a body snatching demon. Like those aliens in that movie…um what was that movie called?” Xander looked thoughtful. 

“Body Snatchers?” Gunn suggested 

”Oh yeah!” Xander nodded excitedly. 

”So why didn’t you go to Giles and Willow for help?” Cordy wondered ”They could have helped you…” she waved her hand at the two men ”become one Xander again.” 

”We agreed that we liked things the way they were,” Alex said and Xander nodded frantically. 

”So why leave Sunnydale?” Angel said. 

”Well…” Alex said. ”See the thing is: Toth wanted to split Buffy in two so he could kill the weaker human-Buffy.” 

Spike nodded ”Thought he could off the slayer that way without things getting messy,” Spike looked over at Angel ”Kill the human part of her and they would both die.” 

”Yeah,” Alex said ”And since we didn’t want to get put back together again, we needed to get as far away from the Hellmouth as possible. I needed to make sure Xander was safe and I couldn’t do that in Sunnydale.”


	7. Chapter 7

Wesley sipped his tea and looked at Xander and Alex. The two young men were sitting at the kitchen table bickering.

“Yeah. But I like that room,” Xander said and crossed his arms over his broad chest.  
“I know,” Alex sighed “But that was Cordy’s room. And we only got to use it because the other rooms weren’t clean,” Alex pointed out “Now we have our own room.” 

“Yeah, but the shower is real tiny and there’s not…” 

They immediately stopped when Cordy and Fred walked in with bags filled to bursting with groceries. Xander stood up and hurried over to Fred. He seemed to bounce a little as she slowly started unpacking the bags. Xander kept looking over his shoulder at Alex. 

“Did you buy them? Did you? Did they have some?” Xander babbled and started helping Cordy with her bags. Alex laughed and walked over to join Xander at the kitchen counter. 

“Just relax, Xander. I’m sure they bought some,” Alex said and Cordy smiled mischievously at him. 

“What were we suppose to buy for you, Xander? I don’t remember you asking for something,” Cordy said and looked mildly puzzled. 

“You didn’t remember?” Xander almost wailed and looked frantically at Alex “She didn’t remember!” 

“What didn’t she remember?” Angel asked as he walked into the kitchen followed by Spike. 

“Twinkies,” Xander was hovering next to Fred now, anxiously peeking into her shopping bags. 

“Oh!” Cordy said with mock surprise “Twinkies. Did we buy Twinkies, Fred?” 

“I do believe we did,” Fred said and laughed when Xander started bouncing again and gave Alex a hug. 

“Twinkies,” Xander said and licked his lips. 

“Here you go,” Cordy said and handed Xander a handful of Twinkies. Xander hurried over to the table and started dividing the sponge cakes in two piles. 

“One for me and one for Alex and one for me and one for Alex,” he mumbled under his breath. 

Then he stopped and looked at the two piles and the last Twinkie in his hand. “Um…there’s one too many,” he looked up at Alex, who was standing next to him. 

“Well, I better eat that one then,” Xander finally deduced "That’s only fair, cause then we’ll have equal amounts of Twinkies in our Twinkie piles,” he unwrapped the cake and stuffed it in his mouth. 

Alex just shook his head and sat down in front of his own pile of Twinkies. 

“You’re doing it wrong, man.” Alex said and slowly unwrapped one of his Twinkies. 

“Ouwat aaa yaa gagin amot?” Xander asked and spread a fine rain of Twinkies all over the kitchen table. 

“Gross much?” Cordy asked and put the milk in the fridge. Spike and Angel were filling their mugs with blood and weren’t paying attention to the two men. 

“Look. You eat a Twinkie like this,” Alex said and slowly bit the end off his cake and then started sucking on it. Xander copied his moves and closed his eyes in pure ecstasy as he slowly sucked the white cream filling out of the sponge cake. 

“Mmmmmm” they both moaned. 

Angel and Spike turned around and watched the performance. Angel swallowed, his eyes open in surprise at the sight of Alex and Xander. Their lips spread around the yellow sponge cakes and their eyes closed as they slowly sucked the cream out. 

“Well…bugger me,” Spike whispered so low that only Angel heard him.


	8. Chapter 8

“You guys ready?” Cordy yelled loudly. 

Wesley winced and glared at the ex-cheerleader while he rubbed his left ear. A sound, not unlike the sound of a cattle herd stampeding, came from the first floor. Xander thundered down the stairs, stopped on the first landing and looked back up the stairs. 

“Come on, come on! We’re gonna be late,” Xander chanted and then stumbled down the last few steps. He stopped in front of Cordy and smoothed down his t-shirt. 

“Look,” he said and pointed at the text on his shirt. It said in golden letters When God made me He was just showing off! 

“Alex bought it for me. I bought one for him too,” Xander smiled and fiddled with the hem of the dark blue t-shirt. 

“Hey,” Gunn said “I like it.” The street fighter was standing next to Fred. They were both dressed for a night out. 

“Thanks!” Xander bounced and then turned around and looked back at the stairs “Alex! Alex! Come on. Cordy’s gonna be really mad if we‘re late,” he looked nervously back at Cordy “Hurry up!” 

Alex finally came down the stairs in a much more subdued manner. He was wearing a button-down shirt. Xander frowned and looked down at his own t-shirt. 

“Why are you wearing that?” Xander asked and walked over to Alex and pulled at the shirt. “You promised you’d wear the t-shirt I bought,” he pouted. 

“Look…um…Xander. I can’t wear that,” Alex explained. 

Xander looked crestfallen. “Why not? I picked it out cause I really liked the white dove on it,” Xander started snivelling. 

“Aw, shit. Xander don’t start crying. Please,” Alex begged and started unbuttoning his shirt, revealing the t-shirt underneath it. 

Wesley snorted then started chuckling. 

“Damn,” Gunn sniggered and Fred smiled. 

Cordy took one look at the black t-shirt and actually cackled. 

“Oh, shut up!” Alex said as he walked out of the Hyperion wearing a t-shirt with a white dove on it and the words Touched by an Angel. 

\----------------------------------------------------- 

“Guys,” Alex said and made sure Xander was busy checking out the lights and the big disco ball in the ceiling “Just make sure Xander doesn’t get any kind of alcohol. Okay?” he looked at Gunn, Fred, Wesley and Cordy. They all nodded. 

“Just out of idle curiosity…” Wesley whispered to Alex “Why exactly isn’t he allowed to drink?” 

“Let’s just say that Xander loses all his inhibitions when he gets drunk,” Alex said and looked meaningfully at the ex-watcher. 

“Arrgghhh, damn it!” Xander said and looked down at his shoes “My shoes need tying.” Alex and the others watched as he fumbled unsuccessfully with his shoelaces for a few seconds. 

“Look, I’ll show you how to do it properly, okay?” Alex said. He stood next to Xander and bent over. 

“Like this. Right over left, left over right. Makes a knot both tidy and tight,” Alex recited.

\------------------------------------------------------ 

Spike and Angel walked into the nightclub only to be met with the sight of two finely shaped butts in tight black jeans. Spike stopped dead and just looked. 

“You try it,” Alex said. 

Xander started mumbling “Right over left, left over right. Makes a knot both tidy and tight.”

”Tight, indeed.” Spike said quietly and Angel nodded, his eyes glued to the two men bending over in the middle of the club. 

\----------------------------------------------------- 

“Can I have some of that?” Xander asked Spike and pointed at the vampire’s beer. 

“Sure,” Spike nodded and pushed the beer into Xander’s hand. 

\--------------------------------------------------- 

“It’s just a t-shirt,” Alex said and crossed his arms over the text so only the white dove was visible. 

“Yeah…okay,” Angel licked his lips “It’s sort of tight, isn’t it?” 

“Guess so,” Alex answered and looked down at the t-shirt “Funny how we use the same size but Xander still manages to buy the wrong one.” 

“Uh huh,” was all Angel said. 

\------------------------------------------------ 

“Look at me!” Xander jumped around on the dance floor forcing a few couples to move away “I’m dancing. I totally rule the dance floor!” he twirled around for a few seconds more before he finally stumbled over to the table where Angel, Cordy and Alex were sitting. 

“I love you, Alex.” Xander mumbled against Alex’s neck and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. 

“Okay…Are you all right?” Alex frowned and looked over at Cordy “You didn’t give him…” Alex started. 

“Spike let me have a teeny tiny,” Xander squinted and held his thumb and index finger a little apart, slowly letting them drift apart again “bit of beer,” he finally managed to focus on Angel. 

“Deadboy! I love you!” he exclaimed.

“Well…that’s nice,” Angel said and Cordy started laughing. 

“I love Spike,” Xander mumbled “I love Alex and…” he frowned “I love that girl over there with the pink hair. I don’t know her but I looove her,” he reached out, grabbed Cordy’s drink and managed to down it before Alex could pull it away from him “I love this green drink and that bouncer over there. Wow, look at those muscles.” 

“Better bloody not, pet.” Spike said as he sat down at the table. 

“I’m gonna kill you, Spike!” Alex growled but was soon distracted by Xander. 

“You better leave,” Cordy said and looked at Angel and Alex as they tried to calm Xander down. He was currently undressing because Angel really really needed to see his new boxer shorts. 

“Right,” Spike said and left the table reluctantly.


	9. Chapter 9

Xander was running around the dance floor wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer shorts.

“Wanna pet my monkey?” he asked a tall blond woman as he danced past her, shaking his butt.

“I…What?!” she stuttered and looked shocked.

“Wanna pet my monkey?” Xander repeated real slow so the lady, who was obviously retarded, could understand him.

“Pig!” she huffed and stomped as far away from him as she could get.

“What?” Xander looked genuinely surprised.

“I’ve got him!” Alex yelled as he flew through the air and tackled Xander. They both landed on the dance floor with a loud thump.

“Hey!” Xander slapped at Alex’s hands “Get off me!”

“No way,” Alex mumbled as he hauled Xander up and dragged him over to their table.

Angel was having a very loud conversation with the bouncer. The bouncer turned and looked at Alex and Xander. Alex had his arms around Xander’s waist. The bouncer’s eyes travelled down to Xander’s black boxer shorts.

Printed all over them were smiling monkeys and the words Wanna Pet My Monkey?

\----------------------------------

”Sit down and don’t move!” Cordy ordered and pointed at the kitchen chair.

Xander grinned and stumbled over to the chair and attempted to sit down. He failed spectacularly when he misjudged the distance between his butt and the chair. As he tried to grab on to the kitchen table, the table toppled and landed on its side.

”Ow!” Xander said from his position on the floor.

“Come here man,” Alex said and helped Xander get the chair back in place and sit down on it.

“I wanna have sex!” Xander exclaimed and looked around the room as if searching for something.

“Well, you’re only getting coffee from me, Mister,” Cordy said and turned back to the coffee machine. Angel and Wesley grabbed the table and got it back in place. Xander applauded.

“Can I have sex now?” Xander asked and looked first at Angel then Wesley.

“Um…” Wesley looked very uncomfortable and turned pleading eyes to Alex.

“Not right now, buddy.” Alex said and patted Xander’s shoulder.

“Well, damn!” Xander mumbled and scratched his crotch.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

“What about now?” Xander asked and flinched as he took his first sip of scalding hot coffee.

“No,” Angel, Wesley, Cordy and Gunn all said.

“Where’s Spike?” Xander asked Alex.

“He ran off,” Alex growled.

“I wanna have sex with Spike,” Xander said and pushed his mug away, making some of the coffee slosh over the edge.

Fred giggled and Cordy shook her head. “I don’t remember you being this horny in high school,” the ex-cheerleader said and looked over at Alex.

“Apparently I’m the one with the self-control,” Alex said as he grabbed on to Xander’s arm.

“Let go. I’m gonna go find Spike,” Xander scowled.

“No. You,“ Alex pointed at Xander “are going to sit here and drink coffee until you sober up.“

“Bastard,” Xander mumbled.

\---------------------------------------------------

“What’s he doing?” Angel asked Alex. They were both keeping an eye on Xander as he stumbled around the bathroom.

“Beats me,” Alex said. Xander leant closer to the mirror and coughed dramatically.

“Hey there, Spike…” he burped “Your hair is looking mighty bleached today.”

“Oh God,” Alex closed his eyes “He’s trying out pickup lines.” Angel patted Alex’s shoulder.

“What? Don't you think that’ll work?” Xander turned and squinted his eyes at his small audience. “Or maybe I could write him a poem..."

“Xander,” Alex sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Uh uh…” Xander grabbed Alex’s hand and tried to stand up straighter "Oh Spike,” he declare “Your hair is mighty liked. Your eyes are as blue as...something really blue and your lips are like pouty pink worms attached to your face...in space…” he finished and looked proudly at Angel.

“Xander,” Alex moaned “Please. My brain is melting and slowly dripping out of my ears.”

“Whoa,” Xander said and grabbed Alex by the ears, turning his head to check.

“Oh God,” Alex repeated.

“You keep saying that,” Xander patted Alex’s cheek “Did you turn to Jesus. Cause I watched this documentary last night and some of those Christians don't really like gays.”

"I'm gonna kill Spike, the bastard, when I see him!” Alex said and grabbed Xander by the hand.

\-------------------------------------------

“Well, nobody told me he wasn’t allowed ta drink,” Spike said as he slowly stepped away from Alex. “And I don't understand what all the fuss is about. He's a grown man. He can handle a few beers.”

“Oh, really?!” Alex yelled and pointed at Xander. He was currently dancing around the lobby with a lampshade on his head and singing What shall we do with a drunken sailor.

"Hurling in the morning,” Xander swirled around “Put him in a long beard till he's supper..."

\--------------------------------------------

"Can you walk?" Alex asked and looked at Xander. The still very drunk man was sprawling on the couch. At some point during the night Xander had managed to undress himself again and he was only wearing his boxers and one sock.

"I got legs," Xander replied intelligently and wriggled his toes.

Alex just nodded wearily and glared at Spike.

”Lookit me! I got two!” Xander seemed genuinely surprised.

”Well, congratulations,” Wesley said as he and Alex attempted to haul Xander off the couch.


	10. Chapter 10

Surely this was some new horrible apocalypse. The wails and screams of the doomed filled his ears and pain throbbed through his entire body. Perhaps the world had been sucked into some terrible hell dimension while he slept.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” one of the demons hissed in his ear. Xander valiantly tried to ward it off by waving his arms wildly around in the air. Then he slumped forward and trembled as the demon grabbed Xander’s only means of cover and pulled it off, exposing his delicate human skin to the blistering heat of Hell.

“God, please…” Xander moaned “I’ll do anything. I’ll be Satan’s butt monkey if you’ll just leave me alone for a few seconds. I beg you…mercy,” he tried to sit up but the whole room started moving around and his stomach growled and rumbled.

“Here!” a bucket was thrust into his trembling hands and he started vomiting.

\------------------------------------------------

“How’s he doing?” Fred asked and looked up at Alex.

“He’s throwing up as we speak,” he answered her and shook his head “Maybe he’ll learn not to drink this time.”

“This time?” Gunn looked up from the sword he was sharpening. 

“Oh, yeah.” Alex smiled “Last time he got drunk…He stripped in the middle of the bar. And I mean stripped…with the dancing and the shaking of hips and butt. He actually got a lot of tips that night. Pissed the real dancers off.”Alex started eating his toast.

“Not to forget the fact that he woke me up in the middle of the night and demanded sex.” Angel and Spike both looked up from their mugs of blood.

“Well…he must have been disappointed,” Wesley laughed but immediately stopped when Alex coughed and looked the other way.

“Oh my God!” Cordy dropped her own piece of toast “You did sleep with him!”

“Hey, I’d like to see you act all cool and collected if you woke up in the middle of the night with a hot construction worker licking your neck and…other stuff,” the last was mumbled.

“But isn’t that like incest?” Gunn asked and looked thoughtful. 

“That’s a very interesting question,” Wesley agreed.

“It wasn’t like I’d never had sex with myself before,” Alex shook his head.

“Or is it masturbation?” Gunn put the sword down on the kitchen table.

“Sock puppet of love,” Alex muttered.

“What do you think, Angel?” the street fighter said and turned his attention to the vampire. 

Angel and Spike were both standing with their mugs of blood half raised to their mouths, eyes unfocused.

\----------------------------------------------------

“Oh…” Xander gagged “Please make it go ’way,” he cradled the bucket in his hands.

“Ah, well…” Wesley looked at the pitiful man “In the middle ages, hangover sufferers tried to relieve their pain by eating a very interesting mixture that included raw eel."

Xander turned green and retched. Alex rubbed Xander’s back and mumbled reassuringly.

”Mongolians were known for drinking a glass of tomato juice with a pickled sheep's eye in it,” Wesley said helpfully. Xander shivered and Alex glared at the ex-watcher.

”I think you just need to sleep. Okay, buddy?” Alex wiped some drool off Xander’s chin. Xander nodded weakly.

\--------------------------------------------------

”Here,” Gunn pressed a glass of…Xander squinted his eyes…something…into Xander’s empty hand. One arm still cradling the bucket, he looked at the tall glass and then up at the black man.

”Wha’s this?” he asked.

”My Momma’s hangover cure. It works. Promise,” Gunn smiled and looked expectantly at Xander.

”Wha’s in it?” Xander dipped a finger in the yellowish fluid and watched it drip on his bedcovers.

”Milk, pineapple juice, some honey and secret stuff,” Gunn counted each item on his fingers.

Xander shrugged and drank it all in one gulp.

\-----------------------------------------------------

”Oi, whelp?” Spike walked through the open door.

”Fuck off!” Xander moaned from the bed.

”Got ya something for your hangover,” Spike came in with a tiny plastic bag in his hand.

”What is it?” one brown eye peeked from the blankets on the bed.

”Magical cure,” Spike whispered and looked over his shoulder at the open door. 

”Magical…as in evil demony cure?” Xander frowned and rubbed the side of his very sore head.

”Naw, just magical in the average witchy kinda way,” Spike assured him.

”What’s in it?” Xander poked the bag with his index finger.

”You really wanna know?” Spike asked and tilted his head to the side.

”Um…no?” Xander said.

”Smart boy,” Spike said as he left the room.

\----------------------------------------------------

”I just don’t understand,” Alex whispered to Angel as they watched Xander curl up on the bed. ”Shouldn’t he be getting over his hangover by now?”

Xander reached out for the bucket, threw up and stuttered weakly ”H-hey…I don’t rem-remember eating that…” and passed out.


	11. Chapter 11

“Hey,” Alex said and pulled Xander closer by draping an arm over his shoulder “You hungry?”

“Oh man yeah!” Xander nodded frantically and looked over his shoulder at Gunn and Wesley. The two men were nodding at something Cordy was saying. “You hungry too, Fred?” Xander asked the smaller woman walking next to him.

“You betcha,” Fred said “Where do you wanna go?” she turned her attention to Alex because she knew Xander would have a hard time choosing.

“Uh! Can we go to Wendy’s?” Xander bounced “Or maybe McDonalds would be better or KFC?” Alex grinned at Fred.

“I really don’t know. There’re just so many places we could go,” Alex said and looked thoughtful.

“Oh man. We should totally go to Burger King. They have this huge burger with…or Dunkin’ Donuts. I could so eat a donut!” Xander turned and raced over to Gunn.

“Only one donut?” Alex said and laughed.

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Fred giggled.

“Gunn, my man!” Xander said as he slapped the street fighter on his back “We’re gonna go get something to eat. You wanna come?” Xander was already pulling on Gunn’s jacket sleeve.

“Where’re we going?” Gunn asked as he was dragged past Alex and Fred.

“Here we go again,” Alex said and rolled his eyes.

“I was thinking maybe KFC but then they have this new burger at Burger King that I’d really like to try out,” Xander said as he simultaneously dragged Gunn along and waved his hand in the air “But then I’m like…Man how great would a donut be right now? And you know they have these really yummy ones at Dunkin’ Donuts,” Gunn opened his mouth ready to speak but Xander continued “We could go to Wendy’s I guess but Taco Bell is like…”

“He got all the babbling when you were separated, didn’t he?” Cordy asked and bump her shoulder against Alex’s.

“This is nothing,” Alex said “You ask him what superhero he likes the most and then you’ll see babbling worth an Olympic gold medal."

"Krispy Kreme!” Xander suddenly yelled, making several late night dog walkers turn their attention to the bouncing young man ”Gunn! Did you know they use 1.3 million pounds of sprinkles a year! That’s like a whole lot of sprinkles?”

\---------------------------------

Xander’s eyes were glued to the sign hanging next to the menu.

“Look,” Xander whispered conspiratorially to Alex “They have spy gear in the Happy Meals,” Xander studied the gadgets.

“Hey, that’s pretty cool!” Alex said and stood next to Xander “Look,” Alex said and pointed “A rear view spy scope.”

“Rear view,” Xander snorted and started laughing. Alex started laughing too.

“What are you two laughing about?” Wesley asked and looked up at the sign.

“Rear view,” Alex sniggered.

“I don’t get it,” Wesley frowned.

“Rear view,” Xander repeated “As in…”

“Ass!” Xander and Alex both laughed.

“Is it just me?” Fred asked “Or are they kinda the same right now?”

"Nope,” Gunn shook his head ”It’s not just you.”

”Yes, he's clearly a bad influence on himself.” Wesley agreed.

”Hey, can I do the ordering? Please?!” Xander looked pleadingly at Alex.

”Sure, knock yourself out.” Alex said and spread his arms in a go-ahead gesture.

”Sweet!” Xander walked up to the register. ”Hey there…um…Rebecca…” Xander squinted at the young woman’s nametag.

”Welcome to McDonalds. How can I help you?” she said in a tone of voice that clearly stated that she couldn’t care less what Xander wanted.

”Um…” Xander studied the menu intently and Rebecca sighed deeply. Why the hell couldn’t people understand that the food was only fast if they didn’t spend hours studying the God damn menu?

”I want the toy,” Xander turned his attention to Alex.

”Then just buy a Happy Meal,” Alex said and smiled at Rebecca.

”Okay,” Xander said and looked at the young woman ”I’d like a Happy Meal with a cheeseburger.”

”One Happy Meal with a cheeseburger…” Rebecca said and started pushing buttons on the register.

”But could you like…take out the cheese?” Xander asked.

”You want to buy a cheeseburger without cheese in it?” she asked.

”Ah ha,” Xander nodded. Rebecca looked at Alex but he just shrugged.

”What would you like to drink?” Rebecca asked and frowned down at the register, tilting her head slightly making a lock of yellow hair fall down in her face.

”Do you have Sprite?” Xander asked.

”Yes,” Rebecca answered, her finger hovering over a button.

”Great!” Xander smiled. Rebecca’s finger pushed the button at the same time Xander said ”Then I’ll have a Coca Cola.”

Rebecca growled and started pushing more buttons.

”Light or regular?” she asked in a tense tone of voice.

”Um…what’s in a regular Coca Cola?” Xander asked and looked confused.

”Coca,” Rebecca deadpanned and Gunn chuckled.

”Um…” Xander looked thoughtful.

”He’ll have a regular Coca Cola,” Alex said and patted Xander’s shoulder ”And we’d also like four Big Mac’s with large Coca Colas…the regular kind,” Alex turned and looked over his shoulder, making sure the others couldn’t hear him and then looked back at Rebecca and said ”And I’d like to buy two of every Spy Gear toy you have.”

\--------------------------------------------------

Xander was fiddling with his rear view spy scope as they walked back to the Hyperion. He was walking next to Alex and Gunn. The two other men were discussing weapons and whether or not crossbows were better than axes. Cordy was walking in front of them with Fred and Wesley.

Suddenly Xander stopped walking and grabbed a hold of Alex’s arm.

”You okay, Xander?” Alex asked and leant closer to Xander.

”It works,” Xander whispered.

”What works?” Alex asked.

”The rear view spy scope,” Xander said and huddled closer to Alex.

”Well, that’s great…right?” Alex looked uncertainly into Xander’s big brown eyes.

”Not when it shows me a sidewalk full of demons,” Xander gasped and started running.


	12. Chapter 12

“Did ya see his head when it went splat?” Spike chuckled and looked over at Angel.

Angel just glared at him. Oh yeah, he had noticed the mucus demon’s head exploding. How could he not? He had been standing right in front of it. Spike knew that. Spike had been the reason the mucus demon’s damn head had exploded.

“Xander would have loved that,” Spike continued, not paying attention to Angel trying to shake the yellow-greenish mucus off his hands. “Would have had a bloody good laugh about it, too.”

“Spike?” Angel said and grabbed the other vampire’s arm. Spike looked down at the snot dripping from Angel’s hand and watched it drip down on to his duster “Shut up!”

\------------------------------------------------

“What happened to you guys?” Angel asked the second he walked through the double doors of the hotel. Cordy was kneeling in front of the couch where Gunn sat with his arm cradled against his chest. Fred flittered in and out of the lobby with bandages and warm tea.

“We had a small disagreement with a few demons,” Wesley answered and shifted the bag of frozen peas he was pressing against his cheek. A big blotchy bruise was already forming there.

“Demons?” Spike said and took the bandages from Fred and handed them to Cordy. Fred made sure not to brush against Angel’s clothes when she passed him. Small drops of greenish snot was still dripping from his leather jacket.

Cordy gently held Gunn’s hand as she wrapped it. Fred fished around in her pocket and passed the street fighter two painkillers.

“Thanks, Fred.” Gunn said through clenched teeth.

“Where’s Xander and Alex?” Angel asked and looked around the room.

“Xander was pretty freaked out. Kept talking about not wanting to lose Alex,” Gunn said and looked over at Wesley, who shivered as the bag of frozen vegetables touched a patch of sore skin.

“Either of ‘em hurt?” Spike asked with concern.

“No,” Cordy said “Alex got a few scratches but he kept Xander safe,” the seer stretched as she got back on her feet.

“Xander dragged Alex to their room the second we got back,” Fred informed the two worried vampires.

Spike and Angel looked at each other and then walked up the stairs.

\-----------------------------------------------------

“Almost lost you,” Xander whispered his voice trembling with what could have happened.

Alex sat on the bed, his back pressed against the headboard. Xander was straddling him, running his hands up and down his chest “Almost lost you,” he kept muttering in between kisses.

“Shhh,” Alex soothed “Shhh, Xander. I’m okay. I’m all right. Look,” he held up his hand and wriggled his fingers “All ten fingers and toes. Every body part accounted for.”

Xander shook his head and rested his forehead against Alex’s chest. His thick dark-brown hair tickled against the warm skin.

“Hey, buddy.” Alex whispered and cupped Xander’s face. The bed creaked when Xander shifted as he cuddled impossibly closer. “Hey, man.” Alex kissed Xander’s neck “I’m okay. I’m safe.”

“Need to…” Xander murmured against Alex’s flushed skin and kissed his way from Alex’s collarbone to his left nipple. Alex groaned and ran his hand through Xander’s hair.

“Xander,” Alex’s voice was deep and hoarse.

“Shhh. Let me,” Xander begged “Let me?” Xander hid his face in the juncture of Alex’s shoulder and neck. He fumbled with Alex’s belt and Alex finally put his hands over Xander’s and helped him unbuckle it. Xander was breathing heavily as he popped the metal button on Alex’s jeans.

Alex pulled Xander closer, closing the gap between them. Their lips were inches apart and they just stared at each other.

“It’s okay, Xander.” Alex said, his warm breath brushing against Xander’s blushing cheeks “We both made it. We’re safe,” he kissed Xander on the lips briefly “You’re safe,” another short kiss “That’s all that matters.”

Xander moaned when Alex’s lips tried to map his.

\-----------------------------------------------

“Holy Mother of God!” Angel whispered in Spike’s ear as they stood outside the room and looked in through the partly open door.

“Uh huh,” Spike nodded.

\----------------------------------------------

Alex sucked in a breath and panted. Xander’s hand was tracing over Alex’s bellybutton and further down. Alex's hands fumbled with Xander’s boxer shorts but never really achieved their goal.

“More,” Alex groaned and closed his eyes, tilting his head back against the headboard.

“W-what?” Xander stuttered. He knew Alex’s body. Knew what turned him on, what felt good, what made his breath hitch and how to render him speechless. Xander recognised the need in Alex’s voice.

“More skin,” Alex said and pulled at Xander’s boxer shorts. Xander laughed and pushed his boxer shorts down just enough to free his erection. Alex nodded as if listening to a voice only he could hear.

“Yeah,” Alex muttered “yeah,” his fingers wrapped around Xander and he watched Xander’s eyelids flutter.

“Fuck, Alex.” Xander grabbed onto Alex’s shoulders and his fingers left small red bruises on the suntanned skin.

Xander’s hands slid down over Alex’s chest, his nails making the skin flush even more, and ended up in Alex’s lap. “Fuck yeah,” Alex bucked just as Xander pushed down.

Xander threw his head back and moaned loudly.

Their movements grew frantic. They came just as Xander kissed Alex, their grunts and moans mingling in their mouths.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Spike took a step forward to get a better view. The floorboards creaked and Alex and Xander turned their heads and looked up.

Angel’s eyes were glued to Alex’s tongue as it travelled across his dry lips. Then Alex smiled and drew invisible circles on the small of Xander’s back.

Spike watched Alex whisper something in Xander’s ear. Xander’s eyes roamed over Spike’s duster clad form and they both shuddered. Spike could hear the two heartbeats slow down. He closed his eyes and focused on the mesmerising thudthud thudthud. When he finally opened his eyes again Xander was slumped against Alex’s chest, asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Dawn sniggered and grabbed one of the comics on the shelf in front of her. On the cover a busty blond with a very tight and tiny costume was battling a buff and hot looking super villain. She flipped through the comic book. The women in the comic seemed to spend a huge amount of time being kidnapped and tied to chairs, struggling against the villain in their skimpy costumes.

“You found it yet?” Sally asked and looked over Dawn’s shoulder.

“Not unless you want your kid brother to look at this,” Dawn pointed at one of the full-page drawings.

“Damn,” Sally giggled “She going to fall right out of that costume.” The two girls started moving down the aisle searching for the comic book Sally’s little brother Tommy wanted.

“What was it called?” Dawn frowned trying to recall the name “Wasn’t it something with the son of something?”

“Batman and Son,” Sally said and blushed when they passed a cute guy. “He wanted the hardcover edition,” she toyed with her blond hair and looked back at the boy.

“Hey there’s some…” Dawn stopped talking and just looked at the man standing in the back of the shop. She smiled and was just about to wave and call his name, when another man walked up to him and they both seemed to discus the comic books they were looking at.

“Hey I found it,” Sally said and waved a comic book in front of Dawn.

“W-what?” she looked confused.

“You okay, Dawn?” Sally asked uncertainly.

“I-I think I need to c-call Buffy,” Dawn mumbled and hurried out of the store.

\-----------------------------------------------------

“This is awesome!” Xander said and bounced over to the shelf filled with Spiderman comics.

“Yeah,” Alex agreed “It’s the best comic book store in LA,” he studied the newest Spiderman edition.

“Oh my God!” Xander yelled and pulled a magazine down from the shelf he was standing in front of. “Alex! Alex!”

“What?!” Alex hurried over to his excited double “You okay?” he worried.

“Look! My God I need this!” Xander thrust the magazine against Alex’s chest. Alex grabbed it before it hit the floor. He turned it and looked at the cover.

“Amazing Spiderman 30th Anniversary Poster Magazine nr. 1,” Alex read and smiled.

”It’s posters,” Xander pointed out in case Alex hadn’t understood.

”Yeah…” Alex looked at the cover and tapped a small picture ”Know what?” he said and looked at Xander’s hopeful expression.

”What?” Xander asked breathlessly.

”That one would look wicked over your bed,” Alex said and grinned.

”So I can have it?” Xander asked

”It’s your money, Xander.” Alex said and nodded ”Just remember you need to have enough left to buy everybody at the Hyperion a Christmas present.”

”I’m gonna buy Spike the best present ever!” Xander promised.

\-----------------------------------------

”Buffy?” Dawn said into her new cell phone.

”Hello Dawn,” Buffy said and Dawn could hear her sister close a door behind her, ”How’re you doing? Dad treating you okay?” Buffy hadn’t been thrilled when Dawn accepted their dad’s invitation to stay with him for Christmas.

”Um…yeah it’s okay,” Dawn answered wanting to get the niceties out of the way so she could tell Buffy what she had seen.

”That’s great,” Buffy didn’t sound very convinced.

”Look I…I’m fine but um…I think maybe I saw Xander today,” Dawn bit her lip and her fingers flexed around the cell phone.

”Really!” Buffy sounded happy ”You talked to him? How’s he doing?”

”Um…no I just saw him…kinda,” Dawn wasn’t still completely sure what she had seen ”I’m pretty sure it was Xander.”

”What do mean?” Buffy asked.

”I mean I saw Xander…um…twice,” Dawn tried to explain.

”I don’t think I’m following you,” Dawn was pretty sure Buffy was doing that thing where she frowned and her nose wrinkled up.

”I saw two Xanders,” Dawn finally said ”I saw Xander but he was like…double. Two for the price of one.”

”Have you been drinking?!” Buffy sounded horrified ”Cause beer is…Beer is bad, Dawn! Bad beer!”

”No I haven’t been drinking!” Dawn stamped her foot.

”How do you explain seeing two Xanders at once then?” Buffy persisted.

”Because there was one Xander and then there were two Xanders,” Dawn tried again.

”Okay…” Buffy exhaled ”Was one of them maybe a vampire? You know with lots and lots of leather wearing? Cause there was this one time where Willow…”

”No. They looked pretty much like ordinary Xanders to me,” Dawn pondered ”Oh, only one of them had like so much better taste in clothes.”

”I’m coming to LA,” Buffy decided.


	14. Chapter 14

“I don’t think I can eat another one…” Xander said and eyed the little chocolate Santa. It was standing in a sea of chocolate santa wrappers, on the small table in front of the couch, mocking him.

Alex looked at Xander and smiled. He reached out and was just about to take the treat when Xander’s hand flew through the air and clammed around Santa’s chocolat-y head.

“Then again…” Xander said and started nibbling on Santa.

Spike came down the stairs, small pieces of sticky tape littering his black t-shirt. “Bloody stupid wrapping paper,” the vampire growled ”Buggering cheeky Rudolph the fucking red nosed reindeer.” A large piece of blue wrapping paper with small Rudolphs on it was stuck to Spike’s left boot.

”You okay?” Xander mumbled as he bit off Santa’s head. Spike stopped moving and looked at Xander’s mouth.

”What?” Xander said and scratched his cheek ”Do I have something on my face?”

”Yeah,” Spike said and looked from Xander to Alex. ”You’ve got some…um…chocolate…” Spike waved his hand in Xander’s general direction.

”Oh,” Xander said and wiped the corner of his mouth and turned to Alex ”Better?” Xander asked.

”You could say that,” Alex said and looked at Xander’s bright chocolate smile.

”So,” Spike said and dragged his eyes away from Xander’s chocolate covered lips ”You get me anything?”

Xander started blushing and squirming on the couch.

”Don’t badger him, Spike.” Alex warned ”Or you might just not get any…”

\-----------------------------------------------------

”I just don’t see why we need a Christmas tree,” Angel grumbled as he was dragged down the street by Xander and Alex.

”Hey Xander,” Alex said and patted Xander’s shoulder ”Why don’t you run ahead and pick out the one you like?”

”Okay!” Xander beamed and ran past a few other people toward the small market square. The square was covered with brightly coloured light bulbs, tacky plastic reindeer and Santas.

”When he picks out the biggest and most expensive tree - and he will,” Alex said to Angel making the vampire groan ”You are gonna tell him it’s the best damn tree you’ve ever seen and that it’ll fit perfectly in the lobby.”

”Why can’t we just get one of those plastic ones?” Angel asked as he dodged a group of carolers mangling Away in a Manger. Alex stopped walking suddenly and Angel bumped into him.

“That’s just wrong, man,” Alex said and stabbed Angel in the chest with an index finger.

“Why?” Angel asked “We could save it and take it out next year…”

“Save it and take it out next year…” Alex mumbled “Sounds like your sex life.”

“Hey!” Angel huffed “I heard that!”

“Look,” Alex turned and was about to tell Angel exactly where he could stick his plastic Christmas tree when Xander’s voice, loud and happy, floated over to them.

“I found it! Alex, look! It’s perfect!” Xander was standing next to a huge tree waving his arms like a drowning man.

“How the hell are we going to get that back to the Hyperion?” Angel eyed the tree anxiously.

“We’ll stick it in the car,” Alex said untroubled.

“We drove here in the convertible,” Angel squeaked.

“Well, I told you to borrow Gunn’s truck, now didn’t I?” Alex said as he walked over to admire the tree.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

"I could get staked on one of those branches,” Angel sulked as the top of the Christmas tree kept bumping against his neck.

“Well, that’s just your tough noogies,” Alex said.

”This is great!” Xander said from the backseat where he had his arms around the Christmas tree, making sure it didn’t slide off the car.

”Yeah,” Angel spoke through clenched teeth ”It’s fantastic.”

\----------------------------------------------------------

Xander was stretching as far as he could to put the star on top of the Christmas tree. He was standing on top of a stepladder, his arms stretched over his head and his feet dangerously close to the edge of the top step.

“Spike,” Xander reached a hand down blindly “Give me the blue balls.”

Spike snorted and was about to hand Xander a pair of metallic blue glass balls when the stepladder wobbled dangerously and Xander’s arms flailed helplessly in the air. Spike immediately dropped the glass balls back in the paper bag and grabbed on to Xander’s hips, holding him in place.

“Thanks,” Xander said and looked down at Spike with a relieved grin.

“’S okay,” Spike said and rubbed small circles on Xander’s hips with his thumbs.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

“Thank you!” Xander said loudly and looked at the present in his hands. Cordy peered sleepily at the gift and Gunn yawned and mumbled something inaudible into his mug of coffee.

“You hate it don’t you?” Spike asked and pouted.

“No no. I love it! I really do it‘s…um…I always needed one and now I’ve got one and it’s like really…great,” Xander babbled and looked pleadingly at Alex. The bastard just sat there with his own presents, smiling smugly.

“I’ll take it back,” Spike reached out for the unwrapped present but Xander moved it away.

“No. No I want it,” Xander nodded excitedly “See this is me wanting it,” he said and hugged it.

”‘Cept you hate it,” Spike pointed out and Angel chuckled from his position on the floor next to the beautiful Christmas tree.

“I do not. Look I’ll put it right here on the table so everybody can see what I got,” Xander said and demonstratively set it down on the table.

“Do you even know what it is?” Angel asked and smiled.

“Sure I do! And it can stand here,” Xander moved the present from one end of the table to the other “Or…here…” it was moved over to stand on the couch ”Hey, it looks great standing here,” Xander exclaimed and put it back on the table.

Spike grunted and stared daggers at Angel, who was sniggering.

Xander leant closer to Alex and whispered in his ear, “What the hell is it?”

Alex was just about to answer when the front doors of the Hyperion were kicked in and Buffy stood there in the early morning sunlight, a stake in her hand.


	15. Chapter 15

“Buffy!”

Before Buffy had a chance to move, she was being hugged to within an inch of her life. She felt Xander’s strong arms lift her off the floor and his face pressed against her neck. As he still held on to her he started babbling.

“Buffy. Oh my god! I missed you so much,” she was hugged again “Is Willow here as well? Man, me and Alex were talking about you guys last night. I’m so happy to see you. Did you see the Christmas tree? I picked it out. We had to put it in Angel’s car! And I decorated it too,” Xander was bouncing past the stunned onlookers, towing Buffy behind him. “Look!” he said but the slayer was too busy looking at Alex.

“Um…Buffy?” Alex said tentatively. Xander suddenly turned and looked from Alex to Buffy. He noticed the stake in her hand and he paled.

“No!” he said, let go of Buffy’s hand, turned and ran up the stairs.

“What the hell is going on here?!” Buffy demanded to know.

\-----------------------------------------------------

He frantically started grabbing everything he could and crammed it into the duffel bags on the bed. He kept muttering as he opened drawers and looked under the bed.

“Won’t let her get him,” a comic book was rolled up and stuffed into a side pocket “Can’t stay…Gotta go. Gotta go,” a pair of jeans, Alex’s, were stuffed in the blue duffel bag “Won’t let him get hurt,” he was having trouble breathing. He sat down on the bed and tried to force air into his lungs. He gasped and was just about to start screaming when he felt strong arms pull him off the bed and down onto the floor.

“Shhh, Pet.” Spike murmured “Just keep breathing, yeah.” he rubbed Xander’s back and chanted softly “Deep breath in…there you go…and out.”

“You okay?” Alex was kneeling in front of Xander and Spike. He cupped Xander’s face and looked him in the eyes.

“She’s…” Xander wheezed “gonna…hurt you.”

Alex rested his forehead against Xander’s and slowly shook his head “We won’t let her,” Alex promised. He turned and looked over at the doorway. Xander turned his head just enough to look over at Buffy.

She was standing there, her eyes uncertain, and she turned and stared at Angel who was standing behind her.

\---------------------------------------------------------

“He’s sleeping,” Alex said as he flopped down on the couch next to Gunn.

“Poor bastard,” the street fighter mumbled and looked in Buffy’s direction. She was sitting on the stairs.

“So they’re both Xander,” it wasn’t a question so no one answered her.

“You gonna do something about that?” Gunn asked, clear warning in his voice. Buffy glared at him and then turned her attention to Angel and Spike.

“Why didn’t you tell us? I mean if this isn‘t some weird evil twin thing…” Buffy asked Alex. She still had a hard time believing this two Xanders story but evidentially seeing was indeed believing.

“At first I was freaking out,” Alex said “I mean I was getting dressed, getting ready for this meeting at the construction site and then someone is unlocking the door to the basement and when I look up…Well, hell it’s me!” Xander made a tadaaaaa hand gesture like an acrobat in a circus.

Fred smiled. She could just imagine the look on Alex’s face.

“I mean there he was, stinking and covered in dirt and he just looked so…” Alex sighed “He looked like I’ve felt for most of my life, at least until Toth zapped me. He looked lost and small.”

“Xa…Alex?” Buffy said and looked at her friend.

“No. You don’t understand, Buffy.” Alex said and walked over to the Christmas tree. “You had Joyce. You had Joyce and Giles…I had two alcoholics who couldn’t care less if I stayed out the whole night. Hell,” Xander shook his head “I slept outside on the lawn every Christmas since I was eight so I wouldn’t have to deal with their drinking and yelling.”

Alex looked at Buffy “He needed someone to look out for him and I needed to do it. Neither of us wanted to lose what we’d become…so we didn’t tell you guys.”

“You could have told us,” Buffy said and walked over to him “We would have understood.”

“We couldn’t take that chance,” Xander said from the stairs. He was standing there hugging himself.

“Hey,” Alex walked over to him “You want…um…don’t move,” Alex said and stared at Xander’s ear.

“What?” Xander asked and tried to stare at his own ear.

“You’ve got a spider in your hair,” Alex said.

“Arrghhhhh get it off! Get it off!” Xander screamed and started slapping his hand against his ear.

“It’s just a spider,” Cordy snorted when Xander’s ear started turning bright red from the abuse.

“It could be a venomous spider,” Xander glared at her, “It could bite me and then I’ll get all these really weird ass superpowers and,” Xander stopped babbling and looked over at Spike “Hey!” Xander laughed, “That would be kinda cool!”

“Definitely not an evil twin thing,” Buffy mumbled and watched Xander and Alex try to get the spider out of Xander’s hair. She looked down at the table in front of the couch.

“What’s that?” she said and pointed at Xander’s mystery present.


	16. Chapter 16

Xander was sitting on the stairs. His right leg bouncing up and down tapping a rhythm less tune on the old steps.

“If you don’t stop,” Cordy said and looked up from her magazine, “I’ll break your legs.”

“You so wouldn’t,” Xander pouted but stopped bouncing nonetheless. Gun walked down the stairs, patted Xander’s shoulder and inched his way around the younger man.

“I really don’t think you wanna push your luck with Cordy,” Gunn grinned down at Xander.

“I can handle myself,” Xander said and stood up, puffing his chest out and scowled at the ex-cheerleader. Cordy put the magazine down and simply looked at Xander. He started to squirm. Cordy slowly stood up and then suddenly made a move as if she was going to attack Xander.

“Alex!” Xander screamed and pounded up the stairs.

\-------------------------------------------------

“They’re here,” Alex said and opened the door to Xander’s room. It was empty. “Xander?” he was just about to close the door when he heard a sound from the bathroom.

“Xander, are you okay?” Alex walked past the bed, comics piled on the rumbled sheets and an empty pack of Twinkies flattened by a pile of dirty laundry. He opened the door to the small bathroom, “I told you not to eat that old pack of cookie dough. No one should eat stuff they find at the back of Angel’s fridge.”

“I didn’t,” Xander shook his head and ripped a piece of toilet paper off the roll and dried his mouth and nose.

“You’re throwing up, man,” Alex helped Xander up, “Here,” he said and grabbed a washcloth from the cabinet under the sink, “Let me wash some of that off,” he gently wiped Xander’s face. “Look,” Alex said and threw the soiled washcloth in the overflowing laundry basket, “I know you’re nervous about the Scoobies coming here for New Year’s Eve but…Dawn is going to be there. You’ve been missing her, haven’t you?” Xander just nodded and hugged Alex.

“Willow is coming and Giles,” he whispered against Alex’s neck.

“Everything is going to be okay. I’m gonna be there. You’re safe,” Alex promised.

\--------------------------------------------------

“Dawn!” Xander hugged the teenager and then turned his attention to Buffy, “Buffy!” his arm shot out and grabbed hold of the slayer’s shoulder and dragged her into the group hug.

“Hey, Dawn,” Alex said and pulled the surprised girl into a hug the second Xander let go of her.

“This is so freaky,” she mumbled against his chest.

“Tell me about it,” Alex grinned down at her.

“Um….” Willow’s uncertain voice made Xander and Alex turn their attention to the witch and the watcher standing next to her.  
“Well, I must say…” Giles started, his eyes darting from Xander to Alex.

“Hi,” Xander said and waved awkwardly at them.

“C-can I get a hug too?” Willow asked quietly. Xander seemed hesitant, his fingers fiddling with his jeans pocket.

“Come here,” Alex said and walked up to Willow. She looked up at him and smiled when she was wrapped in his arms, “Xander…” Alex turned his head and reached out a hand. Xander made a happy noise and barrelled into them.

Giles coughed hesitantly. Alex let go of Willow and grabbed Giles’ hand, pumping it up and down.

“Man, it’s good to see you,” Alex said.

“Oh likewi…” Giles tried but was suddenly engulfed in Xander’s arms.

“I missed you,” Xander said and rested his head on the watcher’s shoulder.

“Oh…well…um,” Giles mumbled ineptly.

\----------------------------------------

Dawn was grinning from ear to ear as Xander dragged her up the stairs.

“It’s so freaking cool!” Xander repeated for the tenth time, “I was like, hey a black box thingy and Spike was all pouty. Man, can he pout. But come on,” Xander let go of Dawn’s hand and opened the door to his room, “How was I gonna know what it was.”

“He was pouting?” Dawn asked.

“Oh yeah, he looked like a puppy,” Xander laughed and pulled Dawn into the messy room, “Here, you can sit on the bed,” he said and pushed a pile of DVD’s and dirty socks down on the floor.

“So he gave you a Christmas present?” Dawn said and picked up a green sock and frowned at it.

“Yeah,” Xander said and opened the closet door. He pushed a few boxes and other stuff around until he finally lifted what looked to be a solid black box out of the mess.

“So what does it do?” Dawn asked when Xander put the box down on the bed.

“It’s like a treasure box…but like way cooler,” Xander said and beamed at her.

“So where does it open,” she examined it but couldn’t find any trace of a lid.

“That’s what so neat,” Xander said and put his hand on it, “I’m the only one who can open it. Alex can’t even do that,” he closed his eyes and the box made a quiet noise, like air whooshing out.

Dawn watched the top of the box melt away and reveal the black inside of the box.

“Um…it’s empty,” she said and put her hand in it.

“No,” Xander said, “That’s what’s so great,” he pushed Dawn’s hand away and looked down at the empty box, he frowned and narrowed his eyes. Slowly the shape of an old comic book appeared.

“Whoa,” Dawn said, “It’s like a whishing thingy?”

“No no,” Xander took the old comic book out of the box and put it reverently on the bed, “It’s like…I can put things in it and it’ll keep it safe but it’s like magic and I can just keep putting stuff in it. All I gotta do to get it back is think about it after I’ve opened the box.”

“So you can put anything in it?” she watched as the box became solid again.

“Uh huh,” Xander nodded.

“But what if…” Dawn looked thoughtful, “What if you put something in it and forget about it?”

“What’d you mean?” Xander looked puzzled.

“I do that all the time,” Dawn continued, “I’ll like put a lipstick somewhere where I’m sure I’ll remember putting it and then I’ll just…you know…forget.”

“Yeah?” Xander sounded uncertain.

“So what happens if you put something in it and forget about it?” Dawn finished.

“Spike?!” Xander yelled frantically and ran out of the room.

\-------------------------------------------

“You sure you don’t want me to…” Willow started but Alex shook his head and put a hand over her mouth.

“We’re fine, Willow. Really,” he said and let his hand fall down to her shoulder.

“You certainly seem to have handled yourself quite well, all things considered,” Giles admitted.

“But you’re so vulnerable,” Willow whispered, “If one of you get’s seriously hurt…” her voice trailed off.

“We’ve been keeping an eye on the both of them,” Angel said and sat down at the table next to Alex, “But I have to admit…” Angel looked apologetically at Alex, “I worry about them getting hurt.”

“Boy’s the one we should worry about,” Spike said, he was leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Yeah,” Alex reluctantly nodded, “He does have this weird ability to get in trouble.”

“So maybe,” Buffy put her sandwich down, “Maybe what you guys need isn’t to get put together again,” she took a sip of her soda, “Maybe what you need is some kind of protection spell.”

“Oh yes,” Willow said eagerly, “We could do that,” she looked over at Giles, “Right?”

“Certainly,” Giles agreed.

\----------------------------------------------

Angel was looking at the list of magic roots, Q’k’l’g toenails and stomach lining of a rabid bat. He looked up at Giles.

“This is all you need?” Angel asked.

“Yes,” Wesley said from the table in the corner, “We have all the other ingredients necessary.”

“Now the important thing to remember…” Giles said and Willow nodded, “is that the toenails have to be fresh. Make sure you aren’t cheated. Some magic vendors just try to sell Pat’k’y’ki fingernails and tell you it’s Q’k’l’g toenails.”

“Right,” Angel nodded.

“Better not tell either of the boys what’s in that potion of yours,” Spike said.

\--------------------------------------------------

“Well, down it goes,” Alex emptied the glass. The green goo slowly travelled down his throat making him gag slightly.

“I’m not drinking that,” Xander crossed his arms and glared at Willow.

“You have to,” Spike growled.

“It’s green,” Xander said and stabbed a finger at the glass in front of him, “And it’s got floaty bits in it.”

“Chicken!” Alex mock coughed.

“Am not!” Xander pouted.

“Then drink it,” Alex said.

“No,” Xander shook his head, his hair flapping around his ears.

“Chhiiiiikkkeeennnn,” Alex repeated and started making chicken noises.

“Am NOT!” Xander grabbed the glass and emptied it.

\---------------------------------------------------------

The hotel was a flurry of motion and people talking. The lobby had turned into the perfect place to hold a New Year’s Eve party and Angel had only winced a little when Xander had started throwing confetti all over the place to set the mood.

“Here,” Xander pushed small bags of confetti into Dawn and Willow’s hands, “Just throw it all over the place.”

“Cool,” Dawn said and started decorating the stairs with the small golden confetti stars, “Come on, Willow.”

\---------------------------------------------------------

“It’s just so unfair,” Dawn said and stared at the glass of champagne Xander was holding cupped in his hands.

“What?” he asked and looked around the room.

“Why are you looking shifty?” Dawn asked and tilted her head.

“I’m not,” Xander said, “You’ll get to drink when you’re like, you know, old enough.”

“Yeah…” Dawn nodded, “It’s still totally unfair.”

“Tell me about it,” Xander sighed and gulped down his second glass of stolen champagne

\--------------------------------------------------------

“Wesley!” Xander grabbed hold of the ex-watcher and hugged him.

“Xander?” Wesley tried to pull away from the younger man but couldn’t.

“I love you!” Xander said and kissed Wesley’s cheek.

“Ah…well…yes…” Wesley started scanning the lobby for help.

“You don’t love me?” Xander’s bottom lip started quivering.

“We hardly know each other,” Wesley gently pointed out.

“You hate me,” Xander blubbered, “You all hate me,” he grabbed Wesley’s beer and downed it.

“Oh dear,” Wesley managed to said before he was covered in a crying Xander.

\----------------------------------------------------

“Okay!” Alex yelled loud enough for everyone to notice, “Who let Xander drink?” he glared at everyone.

“Don’t look at me,” Spike said defensibly.

“Spike!” Xander, who had been grabbing hold of the couch babbling about the evil floor moving, threw himself at the blond vampire.

\---------------------------------------------------

“Up you go,” Spike kept pushing at Xander’s lower back, trying to make him climb the stairs faster.

“Wesley hates me,” Xander started crying again.

“I’ll kill him for ya later,” Spike promised.

“Really?” Xander turned and looked at Spike hopefully.

“Sure, but you have ta go and take a nap first,” Spike said and started dragging Xander up the stairs.

“Can I watch?” Xander asked but suddenly the stairs started moving funny and his legs felt like overcooked spaghetti, he stumbled forward, grabbed on to Spike’s shoulder and held on.

“Easy there,” Spike said and tried not to notice how Xander’s hands seemed to be groping him all over.

”Oh look I can’t keep my hands off you,” Xander laughed and petted Spike’s cheek.

"That’s a problem we share," Spike snorted, cupped Xander’s face and smiled.

"You like to touch yourself too, Spike?" Xander asked and grinned happily. Spike managed to get Xander down the hall and into his room.

”Wanker!” Spike retorted and helped Xander get his shoes off.

”I hear you can go like totally blind doing that,” Xander said sleepily and hugged the black treasure box.


	17. Chapter 17

“Oh man! Oh man!” Xander pushed the double doors to the Hyperion open and bounced inside. He turned and grinned at Spike.

“Did you see that?” Xander asked excitedly, “Did you? I was totally awesome. So freaking cool!”

Spike opened his mouth to answer but Xander just carried on babbling.

“And I was like, you know, Superman or maybe Spiderman with my kicking and…”

“Take it easy, buddy,” Alex said as he came through the doors, Angel hovering behind him. The vampire’s eyes were locked on the deep scratch on Alex’s shoulder.

“Did you see?” Xander said and hugged Alex, “It was so cool!”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded and hugged back, “You’re cool.”

“We should take care of that,” Angel said and gently touched the wounded shoulder.

“Okay,” Alex agreed and walked over to the couch. Xander followed him but was too wired to sit down, his butt barely touched the couch cushions before he was jittering around the lobby again.

“Man!” he exclaimed and started jabbing the air, “I kicked his green slimy demony butt!” he turned to Spike, “Did you see it?!”

“Yeah,” Spike laughed, “I saw it,” he nodded and sat down next to Alex. They both watched Xander re-enact the nights demon hunt.

“He was huge,” Xander pointed at the ceiling, “Like eight feet tall and with all these razor sharp teeth.”

“Wasn’t more than six…” Spike tried.

“And he had horns,” Xander mimicked horns with his index fingers, “And they were poisonous!”

“Wasn’t really poi…” Spike attempted.

“So I just told him to fuck off or I’d rip those horns right off his head,” Xander swaggered around the room.

“After he screamed for his momma,” Alex whispered. Spike sniggered.

“And he was so scared of me,” Xander hit his own chest with a fist, “I’m totally the meanest demon fighter, like ever.”

“That you are,” Spike said and leant back, enjoying the show. Angel came out of the kitchen with the first aid kit in his hands.

“Is he regaling us with his amazing fighting abilities again?” Angel asked and put the first aid kit down on the side table next to the couch.

“Oh yeah,” Alex took his ruined t-shirt off and tried to move his shoulder.

“Does it hurt?” Angel put a cool hand on Alex’s shoulder and gently rubbed the unharmed skin.

“No,” Alex sighed. Angel slowly started cleaning the wound.

“And I kicked him,” Xander kicked the air and almost toppled over, “And that demon guy was really amazed by my superior fighting skills.”

“Uh huh,” Alex nodded absentmindedly.

“There,” Angel said and brushed his hand over the bandage, “Should heal up just fine now.”

“Thanks,” Alex said and looked into Angel's dark eyes.

“Wham!” Xander’s hand slamming down on the side table made Angel and Alex jump, “He was one big pile of green goo when I was finished with him,” Xander put his fists on his hips and posed for them.

“Seems you forgot a part,” Spike pointed out.

“Huh?” Xander’s hands unclenched and he looked over at Spike.

“Seem to remember I helped you kick the bloke’s arse,” Spike got up from the couch.

“Yeah…you can be like my side-kick,” Xander smiled happily, “We’ll call you Bleach Boy and I can be like Captain Asskicker!”

“I will not be your side-kick,” Spike growled.

“It’ll be cool,” Xander promised, “We could have really cool costumes. You’d look good in red spandex,” Xander’s eyes roamed over the blond vampire’s body, “And I could have this leather thing, you know, like Batman only without the pointy ears, cause they’re just stupid!”

“I’m not wearing red spandex,” Spike crossed his arms.

“Come on, Xander,” Alex said and started herding his clone up the stairs.

“I could draw the design,” Xander started babbling, he turned and looked at Alex, “He’d look good in spandex.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he would,” Alex patted Xander’s shoulder and let his hand slide from the shoulder to the hip.

“Oh,” Xander said and stopped moving. He licked his lips and looked down at the two vampires.

“Come on,” Alex whispered huskily.

“Oh…yeah…It’s a good thing I have a big bed, right Alex?” Xander asked.

“That’s right,” Alex agreed.

“It’s huge,” Xander continued.

“It sure is. That’s why they call it king size, you know,” Alex finally managed to get Xander moving again.

“It’s even got room for more than just the two of us,” Angel and Spike heard Xander say.

The two vampires looked at each other. Spike shrugged and smirked. Angel looked over at the stairs. Suddenly Xander came running back down the stairs and spread his arms out.

“It’s like the hugest bed ever!” he said and looked up when Alex called for him, “There’s even room for two more,” Xander hummed happily.

“Oh,” was all Angel and Spike could manage. Xander nodded and ran up the stairs.

Angel and Spike stood there staring fixedly at the stairs for a few minutes.

Alex, his t-shirt off and his jeans unbuttoned, came down and leant against the banisters. “That’s as close to an invite you’ll ever get out of Xander,” he simply said and disappeared up the stairs.

“Bloody hell,” Spike whispered, Angel just grunted.

“Last vampire in the bed is a rotten egg!” Xander yelled.


	18. Mirror image

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

”Oh…oh...my God,” Spike moaned and grabbed a handful of the soft cotton sheets.

”Good?” Xander asked, his warm breath ghosting over Spike’s thigh. The blond vampire shivered uncontrollably.

”I thought,” Spike murmured, ”I…fuck yeah…just like that,” he arched up, ”I thought…you were the innocent one,” he moaned and let his pale fingers run through Xander’s sweaty dark locks.

A low chuckle made Spike turn his head and look into Alex’s brown eyes. The human’s pupils were dilated and his hand was caressing Xander’s shoulder.

”As if,” Alex sighed and closed his eyes. He tried to keep his eyes open but Angel had found that hot spot on his collarbone that only Xander knew about.

”Look at them,” Spike heard Angel whisper, and he turned his head just enough to focus on Angel and Alex. Angel was whispering into Alex’s ear, the vampire’s lips touching the flushed earlobe. Alex just nodded numbly, eyes unseeing.

Xander worked his way up Spike’s chest, stopping to lick the vampire’s neck.

”Look. At. Them.” Angel commanded again and pulled Alex’s head back by grabbing a fistful of Alex’s dark hair.

Alex blinked and focused on the other two occupying the bed.

The contrast was striking. Xander’s broad body covering Spike’s leaner, smaller build. Spike’s pale long fingered hands running incessantly through Xander’s thick hair, the sweaty strands tangling. Xander’s suntanned face pressed against Spike’s pale throat.

”Fuck,” Alex’s quiet voice filled the room.

Xander pushed away from Spike and reached out for Alex. His hand curled around the back of Alex’s neck and he pulled him close. Angel scraped his fangs over Alex’s pulse point, making him arch up.

”Bloody hell,” Spike managed to hiss when Alex and Xander kissed.


End file.
